Anticipation.

Today, at around noon, I will embark upon a journey...

Catalyst's 10th Annual Conference!! I'm stoked. Expecting to learn a lot- more posts to follow soon.

--LB

"What's the answer/To the question/I hear inside my heart?" (The Searching Song by LEB)

When I opened the page for My Utmost for this morning, gotta tell ya, it was quite a blow to my pride (once again lol). But then I realized that THIS is the answer to my question (see "The Girl vs. The Cynic").

It seems the theme recently has been God teaching me what it is to be humble, patient, kind, & gracious in the midst of difficulties. Being in a bind is NO EXCUSE to be unkind or nasty. When we're 'squeezed', the character of Christ should come forth. At least, that's the goal in my life.

If I'm in 'the valley' instead of on the mountaintop, that is not a license to despair. In no way am I allowed to give up hope. It has been strongly impressed upon me that this is where the battle takes place; in the midst of adversity. This is where character is shaped, by what I think, say, and do when life is hectic & stress levels are high.
Read the following with a willing heart. I pray that God would show you something fresh & new. <3,
LEB

Go to the reading for the second of October:

http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php

The Girl vs. The Cynic

Sometimes, my creative inspiration comes from the most random places...I mean c'mon, an old John Reuben cd, that happened to be on my old myspace blog, which I archived within the past couple of days...But somehow, it's totally relevant!

So I 'borrowed' the title of this entry- John Reuben's cd is entitled "The Boy vs. The Cynic". :)

Internal struggle...
Do I keep day dreaming as the 'girl', or do I shake myself out of it and become the rational 'cynic'?

Such a point of internal conflict.

I love to hope, to dream, to reach towards what I see as the ultimate goal. But, at the same time, the practical part of me says that I've got to do what makes sense right now. I can't keep thinking that everything will work out the way I wish it would...

So many times, it seems like my heart is pulling me in the right direction, but my head fights to go the opposite way. I'm just wondering if this internal 'battle' will end anytime soon. I don't like this feeling. It's uncomfortable. But maybe I'm not supposed to be comfortable. Hopefully this point of conflict will cause a stir within me to create a feistiness within my character; I've been passive for far too long.

This is one that just needs to be left to simmer for a little bit longer...I don't know the answer but I'm on the quest to find it.

--LB, The Adventurer.