The Searching Song

The Searching Song by Lysandra Elena

{Verse 1}

Broken and battered I feel inside

I feel the fear, I want to hide

I don't know what to do, don't know what to do...

What's the answer to the question, I feel inside my heart?

What's the answer to the question I've been asking for so long?


{Chorus}

Where do I go from here?

Where do I run from here?

I don't know where to go, don't know where to run.

Where do I go from here?

Where do I run from here?

I don't know where to go, don't know where to go from here.


{Verse 2}

What's the next step I ask to you...

Can't seem to see right through the fog of life that comes around me.

I feel so lost.

Seems I've been here before, seems I've seen these problems-but I don't

know where, where to go from here, where to go from here.


{Bridge}

And I've tried and tried to trust you.

I've tried and tried to trust you.

But Lord, I'm weary.

I'm tired Lord- I'm broken.

I need you Lord.


I don't know what the next step is here

I've tried to trust you, tried to follow after your heart alone.

I don't know what the next step is here- but I will trust in you.

Copyright Lysandra Elena Music 2009

Grace Amazing.

God's grace is so overwhelming, and often shows up in the most unexpected ways. Today, we decided to have a family time of prayer and worship. So the girls were dancing to "Carried to the Table" by Leeland, a dance that Casiphia & I choreographed together and have performed numerous times in different venues. We couldn't remember all of the steps, so we decided to watch a dvd of our performance last May.

As soon as I sat down to watch, I was struck by the power of God's presence and anointing on this dance. It was like his grace, love and mercy washed over me. God reminded me that this is why I dance- to worship Him. There is such a purity that God has as a banner over us when we dance, and it is the power of God's presence that sets our art apart from that of the world.

I realized how much more I need to rely upon God to be my everything. It's so easy to fall into pride, and think that we've got it all figured out. We continue on as if we didn't even really know God, going through the motions yet not really savoring the moments spent with him. Pride is so sneaky. We can even be prideful in thinking that we have so much humility that pride isn't even an issue. What a web of deception is woven all around us, without us even realizing that we are tied up in sin.

God sure opened my eyes to areas of pride within my heart. I was prideful that I hadn't been caught up in pride the way that some christians I know have been. What a bunch of lies from the enemy. Yet even with all of this, God's grace is sufficient for me, that his strength is made perfect in weakness. Where I fail, he will fill in the gaps and continue to make me into the image of Christ.

Thank you God for your amazing grace that has saved someone like me- I have been so lost, yet You found me and picked me up out of the mire and I will never be the same. Let me not forget how I have been saved by grace, through faith, and not of myself. That it is the gift of God, and no one has the right to boast or think that it is through anything that they have done that they are saved. Teach me to be set apart for your purposes, and not led astray by any vain imaginings. Lord make me a tool in your hand.

A new chapter.

Here I stand, on the precipice of a new chapter of my life.

A fresh page, blank, waiting to be filled with new things:

new friends, places, memories, adventures, joys, and sorrows...

Thrilling, at the same time that it is intimidating.

Exhilarated still, I look to the horizon, ready to embark upon this

journey. As I leave behind the friends I've made in this chapter that

is coming to a close, I embrace all of the opportunities and

relationships that will arise in the coming days. I realize even more

how grateful I am for all of those who have been in my life.

Faithful has my God been, and faithful will He remain.

...Because I love you.

How do you approach your time with God? 

Is it as an obligation or a religious act? Or even a habit?

Or is it simply "because I love you, Lord, I want to spend this time simply getting to know you- to learn what you think, how your voice sounds, and simply to know you more intimately than I did before." 

When we want to get to know a new friend better, we spend time with them- simply being with them is a way to "learn them"- they're likes, dislikes, dreams and aspirations.

It should be the same with our Lord. 

Once our quiet times with God become a burden or a habit, it's time to step back and examine our hearts. It is a small misstep from true devotion to religious obligation. Let us become truly in love with Jesus, by loving him and serving him, not simply because of what he has done for us, but because he is our friend.

"No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you." --Jesus, John 15:15

Furthermore, knowing God as a friend and believing in him causes our faith in Him to grow. Abraham believed God's word, when God told him that he would have a son even though his wife was too old to bear children, and Abraham was old enough that he was "as good as dead."

And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,"^[a] and he was called God's friend. 
(James 2:23)

I desire to be a "friend of God" rather than a servant (who really wants to be thought of as a servant anyways?), and to know God's thoughts as my own.

Lord, let us know you as you truly are, not as some religious father figure who is far away or any other wrong views we may have of you, but as the God who cares for us as our closest friend. Let us learn of you, not simply by reputation, through stories that others have told us, but by the experience of hearing your voice as you speak to us individually. Remove the limitations that we continually place upon you; blow away the expectations that we have of you. Let us begin to realize that you will come and work in our lives in such a way that we are completely undone in your presence.