Today, the dam finally broke. I was finally able to cry out to God for comfort.
Thank you God for your overwhelming comfort in the midst of sorrow.
It is so amazing to fall into the gentle arms of grace and know without a doubt
that God will provide ALL that I need. No matter how I feel, no matter what lies
I may have believed, no matter how dark the night may seem, joy comes in the morning.
Lord,
You are wonderful. How could I live without you? Where would I be without You in my life?
Thank you for your overwhelming comfort. You are the God of all comfort. You are near to
the brokenhearted. I love you, and will live my life to serve you. Thank you for your hand in
my life. You are wonderful and altogether worthy of all honor, glory, and praise.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
When God says No.
It's so easy to accept God's will when it is a positive answer. So many times, I realize that I want God's will in my life, but only in a limited sense. I desire God's blessings, but I don't want to receive God's discipline.
When I pray that God will answer my prayers, I desire an answer in the affirmative. It's so easy to be grateful for the answers to our prayers when they are what we desire.
Yet, what do we do when we ask for something and God answers with a resounding "No"? It seems to echo within the soul of a believer, and the sound that is reflected can speak volumes about our character and spiritual health.
How will we react when God's answer directly opposes our will or desire? Will we let it cause us to distance ourselves from God and become angry? Or will we accept that God is our Father, and has the best plan for our lives?
I am simply asking the questions.
I do not have all of the answers. I am truly searching for the right question to ask right now.
God has spoken a "No" in my life, and I am facing this question right now. It's not a fun or happy place to be by any means, yet I have seen how God's answer, even when it directly opposed my will, is always the best.
It might not be easy to follow, it is usually the steeper path that is harder to climb, yet God's will is best. So many times I have been protected from danger or heartache by listening to & obeying God's leading. I know that He will continue to lead me in this season, and His grace is sufficient for me.
When I pray that God will answer my prayers, I desire an answer in the affirmative. It's so easy to be grateful for the answers to our prayers when they are what we desire.
Yet, what do we do when we ask for something and God answers with a resounding "No"? It seems to echo within the soul of a believer, and the sound that is reflected can speak volumes about our character and spiritual health.
How will we react when God's answer directly opposes our will or desire? Will we let it cause us to distance ourselves from God and become angry? Or will we accept that God is our Father, and has the best plan for our lives?
I am simply asking the questions.
I do not have all of the answers. I am truly searching for the right question to ask right now.
God has spoken a "No" in my life, and I am facing this question right now. It's not a fun or happy place to be by any means, yet I have seen how God's answer, even when it directly opposed my will, is always the best.
It might not be easy to follow, it is usually the steeper path that is harder to climb, yet God's will is best. So many times I have been protected from danger or heartache by listening to & obeying God's leading. I know that He will continue to lead me in this season, and His grace is sufficient for me.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
July 4th weekend & a family vacation
So I finished up the dance internship on July 3rd, then headed to visit a church & my friends in my new college town! I got to hang out with Joanna that afternoon after church. This church (Awaken City Church) I visited was awesome! It was a blast seeing everyone there, & I met a lot of new people too! The 4th of July party that I went to was fun - we played frisbee & volleyball, then had some awesome fireworks. On the 5th, I checked out the apartment (my friend Joanna came with me), and then we went out for some mexican afterwards! I headed onto VA Beach after I dropped Joanna off to see a friend. It took about 4 1/2 hours to get to the beach, but it was such a wonderful feeling to walk in that door and see all of my family.
The vacation was, in many ways, tough. The whole family was altogether in one huge home, which was wonderful, but also means that some toes will be stepped on & feelings will get hurt. Then, you have to work through forgiving each other & living in harmony with each other. It takes work to have good relationships! Overall, everyone did get along and love each other. We ate really amazing food pretty much every night too. :)
Some of the highlights from our reunion included:
- Reading a dedication to my grandparents that I had written (see "Timeless Strength")
- Catching up with my cousins who live on the West Coast.
- Boogie boarding with some ridiculously good waves (I rode 10-15 in within about an hour or less)...
- Late night conversations & prayer with my lovely cousins.
- Worrying about the "Sand Crab Mafia" coming after me, since they had been provoked by my sister,
Casiphia, & cousin, Amanda...
Those are just a few things that stick out in my mind, but the reunion sure was a blast! God is continuing to speak to me and make me more like Him, which is the ultimate goal of my life - to be like Jesus. It isn't always "fun" when we're in the midst of the shaping & molding, but God is faithful to provide all that we need in His perfect timing. Thank you God for your faithfulness!
The vacation was, in many ways, tough. The whole family was altogether in one huge home, which was wonderful, but also means that some toes will be stepped on & feelings will get hurt. Then, you have to work through forgiving each other & living in harmony with each other. It takes work to have good relationships! Overall, everyone did get along and love each other. We ate really amazing food pretty much every night too. :)
Some of the highlights from our reunion included:
- Reading a dedication to my grandparents that I had written (see "Timeless Strength")
- Catching up with my cousins who live on the West Coast.
- Boogie boarding with some ridiculously good waves (I rode 10-15 in within about an hour or less)...
- Late night conversations & prayer with my lovely cousins.
- Worrying about the "Sand Crab Mafia" coming after me, since they had been provoked by my sister,
Casiphia, & cousin, Amanda...
Those are just a few things that stick out in my mind, but the reunion sure was a blast! God is continuing to speak to me and make me more like Him, which is the ultimate goal of my life - to be like Jesus. It isn't always "fun" when we're in the midst of the shaping & molding, but God is faithful to provide all that we need in His perfect timing. Thank you God for your faithfulness!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Dance Internship: Tuesday, June 29th - Saturday July 3rd, 2010
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
Tuesday I also worked on brochures & other projects in the morning/afternoon. That night, I went to a studio that was offering drop-in classes (that means you can pay per class, versus having to buy a package). I took a salsa class! It was fun, but man my abs were so sore from all that twisting. It definitely is a different type of work out if you do salsa versus other types of dance. Definitely very active, and a lot of lateral movement. I enjoyed it!
Wednesday June 30th, 2010
Wednesday was the same deal as Tuesday; I worked on projects during the day, then took a class that night. I took a hip-hop class with my friend Jasmine. It was a blast! It was a karate/kung-fu style dance to "Hi-ya" by Trish. If you youtube it, there are a ton of different choreography videos posted. Very fun! Afterwards, I helped Jazzy move some things into her apartment. It was so good to see her, since it's been almost a year since the last time we hung out. I loved taking the class together!
Thursday July 1st, 2010
Thursday I worked on some items in the morning, then I went in the afternoon to observe Ronya set a commissioned piece on the students. It was really cool how she did this. She used the 85th Psalm, breaking up the verses into sections, and assigning sections to groups of dancers. Then they all joined in on the last few verses, moving only on key words (righteousness, faithfulness, love...). After that, they all sang Agnus Dei & did movements that they had learned during the classes. It was really cool to see how it all came together! After this, I was able to come to the hospitality dinner. It was so delicious - they had hummus, pita bread, lemon chicken, and an amazing salad. The organization that hosted us was called the Carolina House. They rehabilitate women with eating disorders by exposing them to food in a healthy & consistent way. It was awesome to hear about how this ministry is changing lives, one woman at a time.
Friday July 2nd, 2010
Friday I worked on tying up loose ends during the morning and afternoon.
I had to polish up a few things, then I came on campus mid-afternoon. I went to this awesome coffee shop and got a delicious soy peach smoothie (smoothies are the best on a toasty July day!) I had mexican for dinner with Ronya, then attended the closing service. The Arts Village people presented their commissioned pieces on this night, and everyone hugged and cried during the closing ceremonies. It was pretty awesome to see how tightly these kids bonded together after two short weeks. I'm sure that they came away having learned a lot about their faith. The group performed Ronya's piece, and it was beautiful, especially the way that the music echoed in the huge cathedral. It was definitely awe-inspiring.
Saturday July 3rd, 2010
This was the final day for my internship, and basically I finished making sure everything was as it should be, & well organized on the USB drive that I was planning to turn into my boss at our debrief meeting. We met in the early afternoon, and discussed how everything had gone for the past month. It went really well, and my boss also gave me some beautiful gifts: a journal an embellished wallet (I think it was from world market - it looks mediterranean or indian). The most amazing part was when she prayed for me right before I left. It is really encouraging to have someone who is in ministry (in the area that I want to work in) pray for you! What a blessing!
Saturday night I said goodbye to the family that so graciously hosted me, and went to (my first) minor league baseball game. It was fun! Our team lost though...but they had fireworks afterwards, so I guess that made up for it :)
Adieu,
Lysandra
Tuesday I also worked on brochures & other projects in the morning/afternoon. That night, I went to a studio that was offering drop-in classes (that means you can pay per class, versus having to buy a package). I took a salsa class! It was fun, but man my abs were so sore from all that twisting. It definitely is a different type of work out if you do salsa versus other types of dance. Definitely very active, and a lot of lateral movement. I enjoyed it!
Wednesday June 30th, 2010
Wednesday was the same deal as Tuesday; I worked on projects during the day, then took a class that night. I took a hip-hop class with my friend Jasmine. It was a blast! It was a karate/kung-fu style dance to "Hi-ya" by Trish. If you youtube it, there are a ton of different choreography videos posted. Very fun! Afterwards, I helped Jazzy move some things into her apartment. It was so good to see her, since it's been almost a year since the last time we hung out. I loved taking the class together!
Thursday July 1st, 2010
Thursday I worked on some items in the morning, then I went in the afternoon to observe Ronya set a commissioned piece on the students. It was really cool how she did this. She used the 85th Psalm, breaking up the verses into sections, and assigning sections to groups of dancers. Then they all joined in on the last few verses, moving only on key words (righteousness, faithfulness, love...). After that, they all sang Agnus Dei & did movements that they had learned during the classes. It was really cool to see how it all came together! After this, I was able to come to the hospitality dinner. It was so delicious - they had hummus, pita bread, lemon chicken, and an amazing salad. The organization that hosted us was called the Carolina House. They rehabilitate women with eating disorders by exposing them to food in a healthy & consistent way. It was awesome to hear about how this ministry is changing lives, one woman at a time.
Friday July 2nd, 2010
Friday I worked on tying up loose ends during the morning and afternoon.
I had to polish up a few things, then I came on campus mid-afternoon. I went to this awesome coffee shop and got a delicious soy peach smoothie (smoothies are the best on a toasty July day!) I had mexican for dinner with Ronya, then attended the closing service. The Arts Village people presented their commissioned pieces on this night, and everyone hugged and cried during the closing ceremonies. It was pretty awesome to see how tightly these kids bonded together after two short weeks. I'm sure that they came away having learned a lot about their faith. The group performed Ronya's piece, and it was beautiful, especially the way that the music echoed in the huge cathedral. It was definitely awe-inspiring.
Saturday July 3rd, 2010
This was the final day for my internship, and basically I finished making sure everything was as it should be, & well organized on the USB drive that I was planning to turn into my boss at our debrief meeting. We met in the early afternoon, and discussed how everything had gone for the past month. It went really well, and my boss also gave me some beautiful gifts: a journal an embellished wallet (I think it was from world market - it looks mediterranean or indian). The most amazing part was when she prayed for me right before I left. It is really encouraging to have someone who is in ministry (in the area that I want to work in) pray for you! What a blessing!
Saturday night I said goodbye to the family that so graciously hosted me, and went to (my first) minor league baseball game. It was fun! Our team lost though...but they had fireworks afterwards, so I guess that made up for it :)
Adieu,
Lysandra
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Monday, June 21st - Monday June 28th, 2010
It has been quite awhile since I updated my progress with the internship, so we have quite a bit of catching up to do! I will highlight the major events from the third week:
Monday June 21st, 2010
First day of the Youth camp. The instructors introduced themselves to the kids, and there were great reviews overall. I ended up arriving right after this, since I accidentally took the wrong bus to the other side of campus. That was quite an adventure...
Anyways, I met a lot of the staff, ate dinner at the cafeteria with everyone (the food was pretty good), and then attended the evening worship service. I met Walnes, a haitian dancer/painter/musician, and I'm sure there's something I am leaving out. He's a talented guy, with a great sense of humor. We hit it off, and he showed me some of his watercolor paintings. They were so beautiful, and now I've been inspired to go play around with the paintbrush a bit more. ;)
The evening worship service follows form that is pretty consistent. Worship (hymns, Old & New Testament Readings, formal prayer), Sermon, Communion Ceremony, Closing worship, Benediction. This is the way the Methodists do it. I really do appreciate the liturgy. It's beautiful. I feel like we've lost something in modern "contemporary" Christianity, but approaching God in such an informal way. To have the formality is to also realize that we are sinners, petitioning a holy God who is completely "other" than ourselves. Though we may try to define Him, we simply cannot begin - we do not even know where to begin.
Tuesday June 22nd, 2010
On Tuesday, I worked on some brochures and other assignments during the morning. That afternoon, I went on campus in the early afternoon. I got lost (parking issues again), and had to walk a mile in the middle of the day. It took a long time, and I was still about 20 minutes late to her class. She had offered to show me the parking garage I could park in the night before, but I thought I could google it and find it. That turned out to be a bad idea, because google sent me to some little side road next to the campus police department (why!?) When I finally arrived, I had the opportunity to observe Ronya's sacred dance class with the youth. It is really interesting how you can format a class to give "non-dancers" the opportunity to enjoy worshipping God through movement. I attended the evening service again, and enjoyed the music especially.
Wednesday June 23rd, 2010
On Wednesday, I took a class at a local dance studio. I really enjoyed it. It was so fun! It was a contemporary/lyrical class, which was really cool because it's something I've been wanting to take for awhile. Contemporary is really close to modern/lyrical, but the goal is to extend your body to it's farthest reach, which I think gives it a more emotional feel & look. Throughout the dance, the teacher had a "hand motif" where the right hand clapped over your mouth. At first, I thought it was cool. But now I think she was a little bit obsessed with the hand over the mouth pose...maybe just a different gesture every now and then (in the choreography) would have been better visually. After dance, I grabbed a bite to eat on campus. When I was going to catch the bus back to my car, I realized (after waiting for half an hour) that the bus stopped running at 9pm. So I called Ronya & luckily, she was already in her car & gave me a ride to my car, so it all worked out!
Thursday June 24th, 2010
Thursday morning was the same- I worked on projects that I have been given, and headed out a little bit after lunch to observe Ronya's class (dance). I had planned to park in a garage that was close to her classroom, but it ended up being completely full. So I parked where I had parked on Tuesday and walked a mile to the class. When I finally got there, all of the exterior doors were locked...I wanted to cry! I had walked all that way in the scorching heat, and been trying to maintain a cheerful attitude, but this was just too much. I'm pretty sure I muttered "Are you kidding me??" when I found that the exterior doors were locked.
On the bright side, after the second set of doors proved to be locked as well, I saw people entering the first door I had tried and I got in. I was still about five minutes late to the class, but at least it was better than Tuesday (it was still super disappointing though...)
Thursday night was a hospitality dinner, so I got some dinner on my own. Then I came back for the worship service.
Friday June 25th, 2010
Friday I came early in the morning to a "Plenary Session", which is basically a teaching session, where the kids at the camp are also encouraged to ask questions, etc. It was very interesting-this particular session was focused on the suffering of Christ on our behalf, and what it means for us. Around lunchtime, I worked on some more projects off campus, and that night I came back on campus for the worship session. It was focused on Christ's death. One thing that I thought was pretty cool was that they turned the altar around from saying Alleluia, to the other side. On the alternate side, it says "I Thirst." That's it! It is the side that they turn it to every year during Lent to commemorate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Savior.
Saturday June 26th, 2010
Today I went home for Isaac's GMA ceremony. I left at 5:45AM from my host family's home, arrived at the campus by 6:20, and took Ronya to the airport by 7AM. I was on the road home pretty early, and arrived at about 9AM. It was so awesome to see everyone. It ended up being a super busy day, getting ready for the ceremony, etc. It was a beautiful awards ceremony, and the food turned out deeliciously! My mom went all out with amazing Bolivian cookies and pastries. I helped keep the punch bowl fully stocked, and shopped at Wal-Mart (eww). My Aunt Lucy & fam attended, as well as my cousin Amyleigh, & grandparents. Also, Jeff & his mom came, so that was awesome, since they helped us videotape & prep/clean up the food for the reception. Gotta love awesome friends!
Sunday June 27th, 2010
Today I was finally able to rest up. I had been so drained from the week at the internship, with all of the parking ordeals (they really had started stacking up!). I went to my home church, and it was a refreshing, timely word from Craig Groeschel. It was about having Unstoppable Courage in the face of fear and anxiety. The thing that he said that impacted me the most was this: "the pathway to your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear." Powerful and so challenging. Prior to this, God had really been speaking to me about how many times I rush to say "...but I can't!" It's draining. It kills faith and creativity. It is unbelief. And He has definitely been challenging me to champion past this mentality, to new levels of unshakeable belief in Him and the truth of His word.
Monday June 28th, 2010
This was the day I utilized to back into the groove of everything. I primarily worked the first half of the day at home, then headed on campus for the night session. It was a great transition day for the final leg of my month long journey. This was the first day of the final week of the internship, so I started making lists of items that needed attention and prioritizing them, which really helped me plan for the rest of the week as well. Yay for planning days! :)
More soon,
Lysandra
Monday June 21st, 2010
First day of the Youth camp. The instructors introduced themselves to the kids, and there were great reviews overall. I ended up arriving right after this, since I accidentally took the wrong bus to the other side of campus. That was quite an adventure...
Anyways, I met a lot of the staff, ate dinner at the cafeteria with everyone (the food was pretty good), and then attended the evening worship service. I met Walnes, a haitian dancer/painter/musician, and I'm sure there's something I am leaving out. He's a talented guy, with a great sense of humor. We hit it off, and he showed me some of his watercolor paintings. They were so beautiful, and now I've been inspired to go play around with the paintbrush a bit more. ;)
The evening worship service follows form that is pretty consistent. Worship (hymns, Old & New Testament Readings, formal prayer), Sermon, Communion Ceremony, Closing worship, Benediction. This is the way the Methodists do it. I really do appreciate the liturgy. It's beautiful. I feel like we've lost something in modern "contemporary" Christianity, but approaching God in such an informal way. To have the formality is to also realize that we are sinners, petitioning a holy God who is completely "other" than ourselves. Though we may try to define Him, we simply cannot begin - we do not even know where to begin.
Tuesday June 22nd, 2010
On Tuesday, I worked on some brochures and other assignments during the morning. That afternoon, I went on campus in the early afternoon. I got lost (parking issues again), and had to walk a mile in the middle of the day. It took a long time, and I was still about 20 minutes late to her class. She had offered to show me the parking garage I could park in the night before, but I thought I could google it and find it. That turned out to be a bad idea, because google sent me to some little side road next to the campus police department (why!?) When I finally arrived, I had the opportunity to observe Ronya's sacred dance class with the youth. It is really interesting how you can format a class to give "non-dancers" the opportunity to enjoy worshipping God through movement. I attended the evening service again, and enjoyed the music especially.
Wednesday June 23rd, 2010
On Wednesday, I took a class at a local dance studio. I really enjoyed it. It was so fun! It was a contemporary/lyrical class, which was really cool because it's something I've been wanting to take for awhile. Contemporary is really close to modern/lyrical, but the goal is to extend your body to it's farthest reach, which I think gives it a more emotional feel & look. Throughout the dance, the teacher had a "hand motif" where the right hand clapped over your mouth. At first, I thought it was cool. But now I think she was a little bit obsessed with the hand over the mouth pose...maybe just a different gesture every now and then (in the choreography) would have been better visually. After dance, I grabbed a bite to eat on campus. When I was going to catch the bus back to my car, I realized (after waiting for half an hour) that the bus stopped running at 9pm. So I called Ronya & luckily, she was already in her car & gave me a ride to my car, so it all worked out!
Thursday June 24th, 2010
Thursday morning was the same- I worked on projects that I have been given, and headed out a little bit after lunch to observe Ronya's class (dance). I had planned to park in a garage that was close to her classroom, but it ended up being completely full. So I parked where I had parked on Tuesday and walked a mile to the class. When I finally got there, all of the exterior doors were locked...I wanted to cry! I had walked all that way in the scorching heat, and been trying to maintain a cheerful attitude, but this was just too much. I'm pretty sure I muttered "Are you kidding me??" when I found that the exterior doors were locked.
On the bright side, after the second set of doors proved to be locked as well, I saw people entering the first door I had tried and I got in. I was still about five minutes late to the class, but at least it was better than Tuesday (it was still super disappointing though...)
Thursday night was a hospitality dinner, so I got some dinner on my own. Then I came back for the worship service.
Friday June 25th, 2010
Friday I came early in the morning to a "Plenary Session", which is basically a teaching session, where the kids at the camp are also encouraged to ask questions, etc. It was very interesting-this particular session was focused on the suffering of Christ on our behalf, and what it means for us. Around lunchtime, I worked on some more projects off campus, and that night I came back on campus for the worship session. It was focused on Christ's death. One thing that I thought was pretty cool was that they turned the altar around from saying Alleluia, to the other side. On the alternate side, it says "I Thirst." That's it! It is the side that they turn it to every year during Lent to commemorate the death, burial, and resurrection of our Savior.
Saturday June 26th, 2010
Today I went home for Isaac's GMA ceremony. I left at 5:45AM from my host family's home, arrived at the campus by 6:20, and took Ronya to the airport by 7AM. I was on the road home pretty early, and arrived at about 9AM. It was so awesome to see everyone. It ended up being a super busy day, getting ready for the ceremony, etc. It was a beautiful awards ceremony, and the food turned out deeliciously! My mom went all out with amazing Bolivian cookies and pastries. I helped keep the punch bowl fully stocked, and shopped at Wal-Mart (eww). My Aunt Lucy & fam attended, as well as my cousin Amyleigh, & grandparents. Also, Jeff & his mom came, so that was awesome, since they helped us videotape & prep/clean up the food for the reception. Gotta love awesome friends!
Sunday June 27th, 2010
Today I was finally able to rest up. I had been so drained from the week at the internship, with all of the parking ordeals (they really had started stacking up!). I went to my home church, and it was a refreshing, timely word from Craig Groeschel. It was about having Unstoppable Courage in the face of fear and anxiety. The thing that he said that impacted me the most was this: "the pathway to your greatest potential is often straight through your greatest fear." Powerful and so challenging. Prior to this, God had really been speaking to me about how many times I rush to say "...but I can't!" It's draining. It kills faith and creativity. It is unbelief. And He has definitely been challenging me to champion past this mentality, to new levels of unshakeable belief in Him and the truth of His word.
Monday June 28th, 2010
This was the day I utilized to back into the groove of everything. I primarily worked the first half of the day at home, then headed on campus for the night session. It was a great transition day for the final leg of my month long journey. This was the first day of the final week of the internship, so I started making lists of items that needed attention and prioritizing them, which really helped me plan for the rest of the week as well. Yay for planning days! :)
More soon,
Lysandra
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